Worship Mammon

Support Chat Isn't

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 18:50:00 -0500

Turns out ‘Support Chat’ is more concerned with attacking people having emotional problems and goading them on rather than trying to help.

At 16:44 EDT on 11/28 (79.97.79.212) -“Soviet”: some1 needs to escort her out
At 16:44 EDT on 11/28 (68.81.196.160) -“Kyler”: You can always exit out of the chat, escort. Noone is forcing you here.
At 16:44 EDT on 11/28 (50.72.52.127) -“UnRated”: damn fighting again
At 16:44 EDT on 11/28 (165.154.94.55) -“Suicidal_Maniac”: another ho going crazy hint, don’t suck so much dick it’s not you
At 16:44 EDT on 11/28 (165.154.94.55) -“Suicidal_Maniac”: lol
At 16:44 EDT on 11/28 (24.20.170.138) -“AspergersEscort”: Kyler, don’t patronize me.
At 16:44 EDT on 11/28 (98.85.219.85) -“DeaconBlues”: OMg, I am so hurt, some Korean whore does not like me I will kill myself
At 16:45 EDT on 11/28 (79.97.79.212) -“Soviet”: so picky with her cock… dont think ur career will last long… woman doesnt respect her own body by selling it to men and dares to disrespect others..

This loving exchange occurred because I turned down the awkward, supposedly asexual advanced of some creeper on Skype who wanted to video chat with me, call me and have me move into his ranch. When I rebuffed him the ‘gang’ turned on me.

@Depressiontribe.com

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:16:58 -0500

So I passed out crossing the street tonight because I have been taking over my dose of Lorazapam. As soon as I get back to the hospital what do I encounter in the depression chat? Snarky assholes, condescending Admins and moderators and everyone laughing at my distress.

I’m a fucking idiot for going into these chat rooms full of douchebags. They clearly just go in there because they think it’s funny to torment vulnerable people.

THIS WEB SITE IS SHIT. I HAVE NO ONE I CAN TALK TO, NO ONE I LOVE, AND THIS IS THE BEST YOU FUCKS CAN COME UP WITH FOR DEPRESSED PEOPLE. I’M SURPRISED THE MEMBERSHIP ISNT ALL DDEAD. OR MAYBE ALL OF THE DEPRESSED ONES ARE, AND ALL THAT’S LEFT ARE YOU ASSHOLES.

Depression Tribe Chat Rooms are Fucking Shit

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:03:50 -0500

All they want to do is fucking gossip and they don’t give a shit about helping anyone, with their smarmy condescension and dismissal of anyone in a crisis. They don’t care about understanding or asking questions; they just want to judge you so they can feel superior and wiggle their fingers at the rule breaker.

Oh, breaking a rule, a time out penalty for you.

Scum.

Lorry Ride

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 10:02:47 -0500

I woke up in the hospital two hours ago. I guess I took a few too many Lorazepam - or not enough. I don’t remember falling asleep.

I am down to my last 4 Lorries…bottoms up!

Respect

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 00:52:48 -0500

unification.capitalist: i have sex with men much older than me, primarily for money and drugs. do you find that disgusting?

You have declined the invitation to start webcam.

Wesley Wood: i find that disturbing

unification.capitalist: why? be honest, i wont get made

unification.capitalist: i have so many benzos in me

unification.capitalist: Let me be clear: everyone is tested

unification.capitalist: there is no Thai fever

Wesley Wood: yeah but for money and drugs it’s degrading

unification.capitalist: Why?

Wesley Wood: it’s basically like you have no respect for yourself

unification.capitalist: I enjoy it, I only sleep with men who I like, I have fun; the parties and casinos are nice and comfortable; I make $100 an hour plus tips.

unification.capitalist: I am young, a double master from a prestigious university, making more than understudies in law and i do what i like

Wesley Wood is typing…

unification.capitalist: i have a lot to respect about myself

"Wesley Wood: i believe people should always stick to their word and not steal anything but also be..."

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 00:48:59 -0500

“Wesley Wood: i believe people should always stick to their word and not steal anything but also be able to come to negotiations
unification.capitalist: this is called anarchism
unification.capitalist: it is the opposite of democracy”

- Me

want to live in a cyberpunk city of the Childen of God who have...

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 00:22:42 -0500

want to live in a cyberpunk city of the Childen of God who have only a king in heaven

unification.capitalist: and we raise our gleaming citadels of commerce to the heavens

unification.capitalist: a city on a hill

unification.capitalist: Sometimes I want to kill myself, though.

i can border on the edge of my consciousness after smoking some...

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 21:37:55 -0500

i can border on the edge of my consciousness after smoking some China

i can feel ther eis something

thoughts that are mine but from somewhere else

things that dont normally become conscious

i can make connetions between it all

I feel like a Shrike.

IS this all nonsense and poetical bulshit?

Me, Today

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 21:13:00 -0500

Hello. My name is Jin, an 18 year old woman. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, and I am a member of the Unification Church of Reverend Moon.

I am a personal escort for a Gentelman’s Club.

Even as a child I would experience severe conditions of ennui and rage; leading me to break things. As I grew up I thought I was getting better - but I was probably just distracting myself more. I found friends, I found weed, I found old books, I found clothes, and I found sex. The past two years my ‘attacks’ have become more and more several, it usually starts as a complete lack of motivation that builds my frustration.

I have trained myself to control it, though it can still affect my social interactions (a very important part of my job). But sometimes it is explosive and I feel like I cant do anything but let it run me…hate, anger, blind rage and a need to break everything around me. Last week I had a difficult conversation with my aunt and I ended breaking out every window in my flat; and I might have to face some criminal or civil charges due to the danger falling glass panes present. This is just one large example.

IF I am frustrated with service at a food establishment I will just flip my tray over off the table and leave. I am self-medicating with marijuana and lorazepam; but the first gives me paranoia and the second makes it hard for me to converse because of memory problems (VERY important as an escort).

I have a profound mistrust and even loathing of the AMA, the Psychiatric industry and their FDA/Patent Pharma schemes. I’m not an anti-chemical person, I just think they’re realibly tested and the ‘results’ are misread, ignoring that closer analysis shows most anti-depressents are no more effective than sugar-pill, less effective than talk-therapy and dangerous to boot.

I have tried talk-therapy with counselours and I found them conmdescending and ignorant. They obviously did not understand how different the reasoning and social life of an Aspie are compared to a ‘normal’ person; on top of their totally misunderstanding me and then trying to force me to fit into their DSM where I don’t fit they were usually just plain pretentious liberals; who were more interested in soft-peddling left-wing panaceas than interacting with me as a person.

I am hoping to fine someone I can actually talk to. I don’t know what to expect, but this is getting out of control. If I can’t manage my temper or my tears I’ll lose my escort job and, because I WILL NOT ask my family or church for assistance that leaves being another crazy street hooker for me.

Not Good Enough For Them - Obey Llandru!

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 18:41:00 -0500

I was banned from Depression chat, because apparently explaining one’s circumstances and having an open dialogue about alternatives to Big Pharma is verbotten. Humiliated on mute for ten minutes without a God damn worning or a chance to even explain myself to the administrator. You guys sure are a lot of help.

Here is my response to the gag, after which I was banned:

“I’m sure glad you decided to gag me because I don’t accept the Word on High from the AMA Cartel and please forgive me for replying to a statement about feeling unworthy of depression with such a nice life. Thanks for being putting me in-line because, God Forbid, I followed up a statement someone made with a somewhat more detailed explication as you might epect from someone with ASPERGER’S SYNDROME. You see what I mean about bad exerpiences in chat in form?

NOW I’m pissed. A lot of f@cking help you’ve been. Do you find it funny to find people having a hard time and then shut them up for trying to explain their situaiton? Is there some sort of sadism-disease that comes with Admin status?”

Icon

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 16:46:12 -0500

Icon

My Life, My Dilemma

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 15:56:13 -0500

Hello. My name is Jin, an 18 year old woman. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, and I am a member of the Unification Church of Reverend Moon.

I am a personal escort for a Gentelman’s Club. Even as a child I would experience severe conditions of ennui and rage; leading me to break things.

As I grew up I thought I was getting better - but I was probably just distracting myself more. I found friends, I found weed, I found old books, I found clothes, and I found sex.

The past two years my ‘attacks’ have become more and more several, it usually starts as a complete lack of motivation that builds my frustration. I have trained myself to control it, though it can still affect my social interactions (a very important part of my job). But sometimes it is explosive and I feel like I cant do anything but let it run me…hate, anger, blind rage and a need to break everything around me. Last week I had a difficult conversation with my aunt and I ended breaking out every window in my flat; and I might have to face some criminal or civil charges due to the danger falling glass panes present.

This is just one large example. IF I am frustrated with service at a food establishment I will just flip my tray over off the table and leave.

I am self-medicating with marijuana and lorazepam; but the first gives me paranoia and the second makes it hard for me to converse because of memory problems (VERY important as an escort).

II have a profound mistrust and even loathing of the AMA, the Psychiatric industry and their FDA/Patent Pharma schemes. I’m not an anti-chemical person, I just think they’re realibly tested and the ‘results’ are misread, ignoring that closer analysis shows most anti-depressents are no more effective than sugar-pill, less effective than talk-therapy and dangerous to boot.

Banned Again

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 13:54:33 -0500

This time Wrong Planet’s Admins took exception to my refusal to burn offerings for Caesar.

Ennui -> Rage

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 11:35:40 -0500

It has been part of my life for a long time, but now it is growing.

I get bored. Being bored makes me not feel like finding anything to do. That makes me even more bored. Being so bored makes me depressed. Being depressed and unable to will myself to act makes me frustrated. Being frustrated makes me start to simmer with rage.

There is more. Other things contribute to it. I have Asperger’s syndrome and I also reject pretty much everything people think about politics or morals; and having their hear their pissant, dimwitted rationalizations makes me sick; such concentrated ignorance deserves a beating.

I’ve been getting nothing but shit in depression, forums, too. Either silenced because of my distrust for the Psychiatry-Cartel and its AMA overlords or spewed banter that probably isn’t even true of Neurotypicals.

It reminds me of my school counselers “Try to make friends.”
“People are boring and I’d rather stab myself than talk to them.”

Depression Forum: Here to Help - Big Pharma

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 10:19:00 -0500

The Admins finally blocked me from even accessing my private message. My response:

Offer ‘help’ but as soon as someone rejects your shilling for the cartel it’s out the door.

I was hoping that someone ‘independent’ would be able to talk to be rationally and examine all sides of the problem, both mine and those of the proposed treatment. I guessed wrong, even online people will blow the AMA/FDA and the Psychiatric Gang FOR FREE.

DO NOT QUESTION OUR BENEVOLENT MASTERS. WE NEED THEIR DONATIONS!

You make me sick, it’s scumbags like you that get people hooked in half-baked theories and dangerous drugs; all I can say is I hope whatever cocktail of Benzos you eat every lunch rots your insides.

You deserve it.

Hey

Sun, 27 Nov 2011 08:58:31 -0500

So one of my regular customers, shall we call him ‘John’, told me he’d like to start seeing me outside of work. John is 50 years old and in quite good shape, and he seems nice and fun. He works as a hotel big-wig and he certainly has Wan to burn. Should I, or shouldn’t I?

And he bought me this black pearl/silver ring!

The Heirophant Speaks

Sat, 26 Nov 2011 18:01:48 -0500

ForumAdmin

Tiny,
You needn’t be so rude, angry and impertinent… you need help
Bashing Linda will get you nothing but trouble.
You have no business taking out your anger on one of my Senior Moderators. One more comment such as this and you are gone from DF.
You really need to see a Psychiatrist asap to control your issues..

Me

Yeah, so they can prattle off exploded theories and prescribe patent-monopoly medicine that is proven ineffective and dangerous. I need help, but the industry needs it more than I do.

Did I get angrier than I should have? Sure. But I’m right. And if you don’t like that, well, I don’t know what to tell you.

Swimmin’

Sat, 26 Nov 2011 16:15:14 -0500

Swimmin’

More NewThink

Sat, 26 Nov 2011 16:02:24 -0500

Still under the sway of the AMA, the moderate took it upon herself to reiterate an attack on my original post and to extend it to a critique of my follow up explanatory and resignation post as ‘violating the rules’.

Lindahurt said;

Hello Tiny,

You are being issued a formal warning for breaking the Terms of Service you agreed to when you joined. Your post in topic Hi A Bit About Me in Welcome New Members Forum bashes Depression Forums, addresses the editing of an administrator, and can create a disturbance on our boards. Excerpt from the TOS:

After which she added me as a friend. After removing her, I sent her a response, as follows:

Oh, another warning, eh?

If addressing the facts and consequences of your ill-considered policies are considered ‘bashing’ then you may well be behind hope, as you will invariably quash dissent.

This is not an issue of ‘freedom of speech’, this is about your failure to enforce rules in a manner consistent with honest appraisal of information and options for these people. You are free to edit or delete my posts and my account, should you wish; but just because you can rationalize it with your airy rules and legal authority does not change that it is yellow-bellied.

It is this sort of self-justifying anti-intellectual nonsense that the Medicrats at the AMA use to restrict competition and keep people under expensive and non-funcitonal regimes. Any forum unwilling to address this objective fact is not really out to help, but simply to spread propaganda.

My position remains the same. Your further opinion will not be necessary, goodbye.

sk8r

Sat, 26 Nov 2011 13:09:53 -0500

sk8r